Episode 143
Ep 143: Why you're putting off the thing you care about most
Have you ever noticed that the things you want the most are also the things you procrastinate on the most? If you've been putting off writing a book, launching a podcast, running an in-person event or any other big, exciting thing, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. It's just your brain, doing it's job. In this week's episode I talk about what's going on under the surface when the important things aren't getting done, and share some insights that'll help you get started.
Listen to episode 136, 'Hot vs cold executive function - the secret to getting things done?' here
Take the quiz to find out what's getting in the way of your productivity
Transcript
Foreign.
Speaker A:Welcome to Unfrazzle, a podcast for solo business owners with a big vision who are ready for a kinder, more sustainable approach to productivity.
Speaker A:I'm Louise Miller and each week I share bite size insights to help you step away from the hustle, stop faffing and stay focused so you can make your brilliant ideas happen and make a bigger impact in the world.
Speaker A:And before we dive into today's episode, if you enjoy what I'm sharing here on Unfrazzle and you'd like to support the podcast, you can buy me a cuppa by going to buymeacoffee.com louisemiller and making a one off donation.
Speaker A:I'll pop a link to that in the show notes.
Speaker A:Okay, grab yourself a cuppa and let's get started.
Speaker A:A few episodes ago I talked about the difference between your hot and cold executive function and I had some great feedback from that episode.
Speaker A:So I will pop a link to that in the show notes if you'd like to go back and listen.
Speaker A:But today I want to dive deeper into what's going on when your hot executive function is in charge.
Speaker A:Your hot executive function is the part of your brain that gets involved when the stakes feel high or when you're doing something that feels emotionally charged.
Speaker A:And because of that, it isn't always helpful when it comes to getting things done.
Speaker A:But here's the kicker.
Speaker A:It thinks it's being helpful.
Speaker A:Your brain is always wired to keep you safe, and sometimes that might mean keeping you small and keeping you stuck where you are.
Speaker A:Because your subconscious knows that you're safe where you are and it's comfortable there and it doesn't like discomfort and it truly believes that stepping outside of the status quo spells danger, and that is not an option.
Speaker A:So your subconscious does its best to keep you where you are.
Speaker A:And in practice that can look like procrastination and not starting the thing that means a lot to you.
Speaker A:So let's just take a moment to think about the tasks that you've been putting off for the longest.
Speaker A:And I am willing to bet that some of those will be connected to the things you care about the most.
Speaker A:And because they mean so much, it could be that your hot executive function is registering those things as a threat.
Speaker A:So let's imagine, for example, that you want to write a book.
Speaker A:You've been saying you want to write a book for years and yet it still hasn't happened.
Speaker A:You have not written a book.
Speaker A:You've written plenty of other things.
Speaker A:Emails to your list, posts for social media shopping lists, but still no book.
Speaker A:So it can't be that you're incapable of writing, can it?
Speaker A:There must be something else going on.
Speaker A:Could it be that writing a book runs the risk of you being judged?
Speaker A:It runs the risk of you failing.
Speaker A:What if it's no good?
Speaker A:What if nobody buys it?
Speaker A:Or you could be afraid of the success that might happen when you've written your book.
Speaker A:What if it catapults you into the limelight?
Speaker A:What if suddenly you have so many clients queuing up to work with you that you can't keep up?
Speaker A:So there can be so much fear surrounding this kind of thing, we don't even realise is there.
Speaker A:The dream of writing a book feels good, doesn't it?
Speaker A:Right?
Speaker A:But the minute you start, there's a risk that that dream is going to be stomped on, or it won't be what you expect.
Speaker A:And so by not taking action, you're keeping that dream alive and avoiding the potential discomfort, the potential risk of doing the thing.
Speaker A:And it doesn't mean that you're lazy.
Speaker A:It just means that your subconscious is preventing you from the discomfort that it perceives as dangerous.
Speaker A:So does that make sense if your subconscious thinks something is going to cause you harm, perhaps even threaten your very identity as someone who can write a book?
Speaker A:It'll kick you into avoidance and procrastination mode, and you won't be aware of that on a conscious level, and it will be very frustrating.
Speaker A:But all that is happening is that your subconscious believes that starting the thing will make you feel anxious, inadequate, exposed.
Speaker A:Insert whatever negative feeling here and you can avoid that feeling by doing something else instead.
Speaker A:And because that avoidance works in the short term, it removes that discomfort.
Speaker A:That then reinforces the behavior of avoidance.
Speaker A:Again, this is all happening subconsciously and it can be really hard to break free, break out of that cycle.
Speaker A:So have a think about the things you've been putting off.
Speaker A:Is there some significant emotional weight attached?
Speaker A:Like something like, you know, this project reflects whether I'm actually talented, whether I'm capable of running a successful business, whether I'm capable of making more money, whether what I do actually has value, whether I'm a good person, what is it for you and the thing that you've been putting off?
Speaker A:And understanding what's going on below the surface is the first step to doing something about it.
Speaker A:So let's talk for a minute about that.
Speaker A:What can you do about it?
Speaker A:First thing is you can name it.
Speaker A:Name what you are avoiding, bring it to your conscious mind so that you can choose what to do about it instead of Letting your subconscious take the wheel and steer you away from that perceived danger.
Speaker A:So name the thing that you're avoiding.
Speaker A:Name the thing you're afraid of.
Speaker A:I'd also encourage you to work on separating your self worth from completing that project.
Speaker A:Whether or not you get that thing done, and whatever happens when you do that doesn't make you any more or less valuable as a human.
Speaker A:You are already valuable, no matter what, full stop.
Speaker A:The amount you get done, how much you earn, how many followers you have, means absolutely nothing about your inherent worth as a human.
Speaker A:And once you've reminded yourself of that and identified the thing that your subconscious is trying to protect you from, here's what else you can do to get yourself into action.
Speaker A:So think about the thing that you've been putting off and remind yourself of what becomes possible when you get that thing done.
Speaker A:Imagine yourself having done it already to prove to your subconscious that it's possible for you.
Speaker A:We do that every month inside Make It Happen Club.
Speaker A:Your brain can't tell the difference between what's real and what's imagined, so let's give it lots of evidence that the things we want are possible and are safe for us.
Speaker A:Then identify the very first step that you need to take to progress the thing you've been putting off and and make that step so small that it doesn't trigger a threat response from your hot executive function.
Speaker A:And then lastly, just see if you can get comfortable with discomfort.
Speaker A:Develop your capacity to feel the discomfort of starting the thing, and starting anyway, because when you do that, instead of reinforcing the unhelpful pattern of avoidance, you'll start reinforcing the more helpful behavior of taking action even when it's uncomfortable.
Speaker A:Your brain will see that nothing terrible happened, and over time, you will rewire your brain so that it knows it's safe.
Speaker A:That's neuroplasticity in action, and it takes conscious effort to start with, but eventually will become second nature.
Speaker A:So remember, it's natural to put off the things that matter the most, but you do have the power to do something about it.
Speaker A:So which of the things that you've been putting off are you ready to start?
Speaker A:And as always, I hope that this helps and I look forward to seeing you again soon.
Speaker A:Thank you for listening to Unfrazzle.
Speaker A:If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share it with a friend who needs a dose of calm productivity in their life.
Speaker A:And and I'd love it if you could leave me a rating or a review as that will help more people discover the podcast and if you're struggling with productivity right now, take my free assessment to find out what's really getting in the way of you getting things done.
Speaker A:It takes less than three minutes to complete and I'll send you tailored resources and insights that will help based on your score.
Speaker A:You'll find that@louisemiller.uk quiz and there's a link for that in the show notes.
Speaker A:So thank you so much for being here and I look forward to seeing you next time.
Speaker A:Sam.
