Episode 157
Ep 157: Why you feel you're not successful (even when you are)
I’ve been reflecting on my own journey as a solo business owner and how, despite achieving what I set out to achieve, I sometimes feel like I’m not doing enough. The pressure from the online business world to hit massive income goals can be overwhelming, and it’s easy to internalise that mindset. In this episode, I share my thoughts on finding fulfillment beyond what everyone else tells you success looks like, and recognising the impact you're making with your work.
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Transcript
Welcome to Unfrazzle, a podcast for solo business owners with a big vision who are ready for a kinder, more sustainable approach to productivity.
Speaker A:I'm Louise Miller and each week I share bite size insights to help you step away from the hustle, stop faffing and stay focused so you can make your brilliant ideas happen and make a bigger impact in the world.
Speaker A:And before we dive into today's episode, if you enjoy what I'm sharing here on Unfrazzle and you'd like to support the podcast, you can buy me a cuppa by going to buymeacoffee.com louisemiller and making a one off donation.
Speaker A:I'll pop a link to that in the show notes.
Speaker A:Okay, grab yourself a cuppa and let's get started.
Speaker A:When I quit my job, like so many people, I just wanted to replace my salary.
Speaker A:I was removing myself from a work situation that no longer made me happy.
Speaker A:In fact, it was making me ill. And I just wanted to create something on my own terms.
Speaker A:So.
Speaker A:So I was new to the world of self employment.
Speaker A:I didn't know anyone else who'd done anything like this, and I had no big dream of working from a beach or buying a yacht.
Speaker A:All I wanted was to maintain my lifestyle, which is not at all extravagant, and to protect my peace.
Speaker A:So why, even though I have achieved all of that, do I still sometimes think that I'm not successful?
Speaker A:So I've hit my own metrics for what success looks like.
Speaker A:I've done it.
Speaker A:But the trouble is, as soon as you enter the online business world, you you're told about all these opportunities to make a shed load more money.
Speaker A:You're told you should be seeing consistent 10k months or you're doing it wrong.
Speaker A:And much as I know that, that is absolute nonsense after 10 years of swimming around in those sorts of messages, on some level I have internalized that.
Speaker A:You know, I don't need 10k months and I certainly don't need the level of stress and complexity that is needed to get there.
Speaker A:Don't let anyone tell you that that's easy.
Speaker A:It takes a ton of hard work, which is fine if that's truly what you want, but it's just not for me.
Speaker A:I already have what I need and yet I feel like I'm not fulfilling my potential and that I should be earning more.
Speaker A:So I've been mulling this over a lot lately and I've come to realize that part of that disconnect is to do with how impactful my work is.
Speaker A:It is changing people's lives for the better.
Speaker A:And there aren't many people who do what I do.
Speaker A:And so I know that there is more potential for growth than I have been able to experience so far.
Speaker A:And for me, that is the frustration.
Speaker A:It's not whether or not I have enough money to live a comfortable life, it's whether I'm making enough difference.
Speaker A:I'm not going to lie right, the income piece does come into it too.
Speaker A:We can't deny that the cost of living is going up, but it's not just about that.
Speaker A:For me, it's about impact too.
Speaker A:But whether we're talking about income or impact, when you're feeling the discomfort of that gap between where you are and where you think you should be, where does that end?
Speaker A:What needs to happen for me to feel that I'm succeeding?
Speaker A:And the goalposts to that just keep shifting, don't they?
Speaker A:And to be honest, I don't have an answer to any of this.
Speaker A:I just noticed lately how much striving I have been doing when actually I've already achieved what I set out to achieve.
Speaker A:I'm already doing what I set out to do.
Speaker A:You know, when I couldn't grow beyond six members of Make It Happen Club back in the early days of the club, I'd have been over the moon to know that more than 50 people would end up experiencing the magic for them themselves.
Speaker A:I've done what I set out to do.
Speaker A:I've been doing it successfully, making enough money for 10 years now, and I have helped countless people get stuff done and feel better about themselves as they do.
Speaker A:And that should be enough.
Speaker A:But the marketing that we're subjected to as small business owners will have us believe that it isn't.
Speaker A:And as I said, I don't have any solutions to share with you today.
Speaker A:I would just love for us all to notice how easy it is to internalize all of those marketing messages that are telling us that we should be earning a bazillion pounds a minute or we're doing it wrong.
Speaker A:Maybe it's because this is my 10th year in business and I'm in reflective mode, but I do find that it helps to look back at where I started and notice all of the progress I've made, and to keep reminding myself that even though the people who want to sell me something will keep telling me I should be more successful than I am, what I have is enough.
Speaker A:And that doesn't mean that I'm going to stop evolving and growing, but it means that I get to do that without feeling a sense of lack or not enoughness.
Speaker A:So I'm curious, does any of this resonate for you?
Speaker A:Do hop over to LinkedIn, I'll pop a link to that in the show notes and feel free to drop me a message.
Speaker A:There's usually a post as well on Tuesdays where I share the episode with people on LinkedIn, so if you find that post, feel free to add your thoughts and comments there.
Speaker A:But as always, I hope that this helps and I look forward to seeing you again soon.
Speaker A:Thank you for listening to Unfrazzle.
Speaker A:If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share it with a friend who needs a dose of calm productivity in their life and I'd love it if you could leave me a rating or a review as that will help more people discover the podcast.
Speaker A:And if you're struggling with productivity right now, take my free assessment to find out what's really getting in the way of you getting things done.
Speaker A:It takes less than three minutes to complete and I'll send you tailored resources and insights that will help based on your score.
Speaker A:You'll find that@louisemiller.uk quiz and there's a link for that in the show notes.
Speaker A:So thank you so much for being here and I look forward to seeing you next time.
